Mad rant

Oh my gosh. The stupid retarded filthy gross cat peed on my bed. again. The THIRD FREAKING TIME!! Twice before I got here, which, yeah, maybe shouldn't count, but I couldn't get the smell out of my air mattress, so it got all over my sheets, and I finally stopped sleeping on the mattress  and either I accidently left the door open (because I've always thought if she could get into my room she'd do something awful; last time she snuck in while I was in the bathroom and popped my air mattress) or whoever returned "my" pillow didn't close my door all the way because sometime today  this afternoon the retard peed on my bed. And it got on my piggy blanket. I don't have simple green/any other kind of deoderizer here so I'm going to have to go get that tomorrow. And the gross thing barfs up hairballs mixed with partially digested food once or twice a week, and I don't care if "it's what cats do"; it's disgusting. I get to clean it up. And I cleaned up the bean bag when Gross peed on it two days in a row. I put the bean bag outside after that. No way I was going to daily clean up pee. ARRGH it makes me so MAD!!! Why?? WHY did she decide she needed to mark my bed???? Her liter box is right down the hallway from my room! And yes, that's gross too. I'm forever getting cat bowel movement smells wafting into my room. MY. BED. lkjdrtgseyut;wiby 34efhqb;kw  Stupid  cat.

Close Friends?

I think that maybe now is the time that I decide for certain whether I want to be known as your best friend or not. I'm leaning towards the not. It's not like I'm going to go talk to you and say "Oh, yeah, you know that whole being best friends thing? Well, I don't want to be your best friend anymore. Sorry."  That's not how I roll. It's more of  personal thing were I just remember that we really aren't all that close and that there are reasons for that absence of closeness. I'm not going to stop being your friend...you haven't done anything to me personally, but there is a person who used to be mutual friend who has already decided to sever ties with you for several reasons. I try and keep an open mind, but I trust this other friend's word more than yours. : /  *sigh* Making these kind of realizations saddens me. Your lifestyle is so opposite of mine...And I realize now that where there are such stark differences it is difficult to understand and support the other.
Hmm... analyzing friendships can help with preparing for marriage and understanding acceptable and unacceptable differences ^_^ I've heard something along that line before, but this might be the first time I truly understand.  Interesting.

Motherhood?

NEVER have I doubted more my "calling" (futuristic) to be a mother. Today was horrible. I'm 15 years older than my littlest sister... WHY why whywhywhywhy is she soooooooo agitating sometimes???? I do believe part of it is being the youngest of 7 and having a niece just a couple years younger than she is; the competition for attention. And another part is that I really don't know how I will ever get control of my temper. This raging anger that comes over me. Makes me yell and scream. Just wanting her to get the stink away and stay away. Just until I feel like I can talk to her without sounding like I want to ship her off to some place else. Maybe I'm the one that needs to get the crow out of town. This (this horribleness) is the part of my that I know exists, and my family knows exists, that almost no one else does. Others don't know this. That is why they think I'm a kind, nice, loving, sweet person. I'm not trying to boast...quite the opposite. Those are adjectives other people have used to describe me. It's because  I know this ugliness is inside of me that I that I almost can't help but laugh when people say stuff like that. I feel like laughing, but it also makes me a little scared...How can they not know? If they don't see this side of me, what sides of others am I not seeing? And I feel like such a hypocrite. Because when they say stuff like that I just...it makes me uncomfortable, but I don't try and tell them opposite. Sometimes I do...but then I feel like they just think I'm being modest falsely.
I don't think I should be  mom. But I feel that if I don't be a mom there will be this gash of emptiness in me for not being a mother. Motherhood is a deep desire of mine...I don't want to be constantly fighting the anger and frustration...I don't want to be an angry mom. I want to be like my mom. Loving and caring to a level that I still cannot comprehend.

After writing that I am much less angry. Now my back just hurts from sitting on my bed without back support. And while I do believe I have an anger issue (I need to research anger problems...) I am slightly reassured by the knowledge that I do not stay mad. If I go to bed upset, frustrated, agitated, I have yet to wake up unhappy. A few hours or some sleeping time and the part of me that is not angry is in control again. My angry self is not in control the majority of the time. Usually my happy(ish) self has the reigns.

Bedtime

I've been letting my bedtimes get out of whack again D:  This is the second night in a row that I've stayed up past 3am....makes the next day heck if I have to get up before 11:30 -_-' I should really get to sleep soon. I had considered writing a post about being pretty (my thoughts about this will be voiced, just not now), but I decided that I had too much to say about that. It would most definitely take me longer than 3-5 minutes to write. I'm actually considering pre-writing it as a word document. Most other bloggers might pre-write their blogs as a separate document, I don't know. I just know that I am not in the habit.
Ah, really quickly before I post this without proof-reading because I REALLY need to put my lil' head down on my super comfy pillow, I want to inform you of my infatuation with the group Nell (넬). They make lovely music, and I really wish I had their albums~~~~ (and my font changed and I don't care enough to get it back the way it was before...it's a little better than it was...maybe it really is the same as it was earlier and I just can't tell?? :P I think I ought to go to bed.
Night to all!
Always, the one who chose the name pyrojumper because of many hours of playing imaginary games where she had fire as her "super" capability and also discovered that she loved flying horses (and riding the horses as they flew). ^.^

Friendships

I have two friends in my life whom I always think of when I look at the stars. You both light up my life in different ways. You've never met each other and I don't think you ever will. Even though you're both still part of my life, I may never have the same closeness to one of you again. Too many years have passed. But you're still in my stars. In all actuality, I may never experience the same closeness with either of you again. For the one whom I have not been able to spend time with in years, this does not surprise me but it does still make me sad. Maybe not exactly sad...more melancholic. But part of melancholia is sadness. For the other "you"...I won't be able to see you for a few years. I cannot begin to know where I will be or where you will go from there. I can hypothesize, but nothing concrete. I dislike this not knowing.

When you look at the stars or the moon, do you think of me?

Superman

One of my friends (http://kpopandthewaisian.blogspot.com) gave me a wonderful gift recently. I had gifted him with a photo collection of some of his favorite kpop artists, and he decided to take upon himself the responsibility to one-up me. And while many people bemoan one-uppers (I have as well at times), this time I didn't mind too much :P The principle of one-upping still bothered me...lol but I got a wonderful present out of it, so I didn't dare mind too much! Anyway, my wonderful gift was -drumroll- Super Junior's latest album, Mister Simple!!!!! Woohoo!!! -happy dances- To any who do not know who Super Junior is/are, the members equal one of my favorite kpop groups.

This is a rather old picture, just fyi. ^.^ They haven't looked like that in a long time lol~
They look much more suave now kekekekeke And sadly (because I am writing this on my dinky [but wonderful] notebook comp), I can't even really see the wonderful boys in that pic >_< I can see enough of them to be sure it is them though :D
Back to the topic of my gift~ (lol sometimes I get distracted...)
While both Superman (the first track on the cd) and Mr. Simple (main title track) are very cool and I lurves them, I think my favorite song (and please understand, favorites are not an easy thing for me lol I usually have several in the "I like this lots" category puahahahaha) from this album is track number 6: Storm 폭풍.
I have an affinity for ballads -dreamy smile-

It would be an interesting experiment to see how long I could ramble on about SuJu -giggle- but I shall not conduct said experiment at this time, no worries : )
Toodles for now~
P.S. Ah, in regards to the title of this lil' blog, I decided to call it Superman because the Superman song was much more powerful than Mr. Simple to me, and I loved the mv (even though I do agree with other ELFs [ever lasting friends; I'll get into that in a different post] that SMent probably should have done a more impressive mv than what they had...one of those I loved it, but thought it could have been better things).

Because I need to write on this more often...apparently.

Writing a post on this thing is like unto writing an English paper, which after 3 years of college I should be able to do without grumbling too much. Alas, that is not the case. I still have HUGE difficulties when it comes to writing. Well, actually, maybe they aren't that huge. My writing difficulites just seem huge to me. -shrug- I'm not sure. Does it really matter if my problems with writing papers don't seem like large problems to anyone else? I'm the one who has to write my papers, so the seemingly large problems I have tend to stay large problems, even if I realize to others they really don't seem like problems at all. Granted, I could cheat or whatever, but I've never been really good at it, and I think that if you are going to cheat you should have some natural talent for it or some such.
Basically, I tend to procrastinate. And I don't like it if what I'm working on doesn't stream from my fingers. If I stare at the computer screen and my keyboard for 10 minutes and the magical words have not started spilling forth from my finger tips, I put my work up and save it for another day. Unless my paper is due the next day, or that day. Then I just write as fast as I stinking can. Unfortunatly, my writing speed (even when I feel that I am writing well and super fast) tends to be about 1 page every 2 hours. Or maybe it's 2 pages every 1 hour.... I don't remember >.<  Woops~ kekeke

It's War

MBLAQ released a new mv today!!~! And it is amazing : >  " MBLAQ 4th Mini Album '100%Ver.' 타이틀곡 '전쟁이야' MV " <---that is the name of the mv according to youtube (whomever named the mv seriously should have named it something else...it's a booger trying to find it if you only know the English name) The English name for it is "It's War"  as far as I know. The link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bsiv1mo0HTQ I hope it works! (crosses fingers)

I'll be posting more about MBLAQ and other kpop artists ;) This is just the beginning! Muahahaha~

Good Gracious

Baby sitting is not my cup of tea. Especially when I'm sick (cough/cold/fatigue). I'm watching my siblings as well as my sisters kids. And my kid brother does most of the crying baby watching, but it still feels like it's driving me insane. Thankfully my dad just got home, so now all responsibility is off my shoulders. Thank goodness for Daddy/Grandpa.

In reaction...

My friend at thewaisian.blogspot.com / kpopandthewaisian.blogspot.com recently started his general blog and a kpop blog...if I remember correctly I started a blog before I left for China that was supposed to be all about my time is China! The thing is...I created that blog only because someone at school wanted one of the interns to create a blog, and I was tired of being asked to set one up. So I didn't post anything other than the first one or two posts before I even left the states. Haha, so yeah, that blog was a fail. Maybe this time (since I was inspired by my friend's inspiration that came from the wonderful Simon and Martina @Eatyourkimchi.com) I will actually keep this blog up and enjoy it. For the most part. I kind of see this as becoming an online journal...which I know people probably do all the time (spout their feelings and blah blah blah, out for whomever has internet access [creeperzz~]) but I honestly thought I would never do. There are many things I thought I would never do but have, and many more things I think I will never do but probably will, so my creation of this lovely blog for the purpose of posting rants, random junk, my love of things, and what ever else I feel like saying, doesn't really surprise me.
If anyone decides to follow me, cool~ Haha, that really would be cool I guess...as long as I post something I think other people might want to read every now and agian. But if it just stays as it is...Well, you're the sucker who followed me :P
I hope y'all are having a great day.
Toodles.